Hello. I’m Maria Wade.

If you’re here, something in you is reaching beyond the status quo. Maybe you’re a senior leader navigating complexity, making high-stakes decisions, and wondering if there’s a way to lead that feels more whole. Maybe you’re earlier in your journey, still defining your approach. Either way, welcome. This space is for you.

I’m an executive coach, author, and the creator of the Leadership Integrity Framework—a four-dimensional approach to leadership that integrates Purpose, Presence, Partnership, and Perspective. But I didn’t start here. I started in boardrooms, first as a Chief Legal Officer, then as a Chief Financial Officer, navigating mergers, acquisitions, and the particular pressures that come with senior leadership. I immigrated to the United States with my family, rebuilt my career from the ground up, and somewhere along the way, found my calling in helping other leaders grow.

Writing, for me, is thinking out loud. It’s how I make sense of what I’m learning from my clients, from neuroscience, from the messy, meaningful work of real leadership. This blog is where that thinking lives.

What You’ll Find Here

I’ve organized this space around four areas:

Leadership Insights — Practical wisdom for navigating complexity. Posts on communication, feedback, presence, difficult conversations, and the human side of leading at senior levels.

Coaching Reflections — Behind-the-scenes from my practice. What I’m learning, questioning, and discovering through my work with leaders. The patterns, surprises, and quiet transformations that happen in the space between sessions.

Leadership Integrity Framework — Deep dives into the four dimensions: Purpose (your inner world), Presence (how you show up), Partnership (the relational field), and Perspective (systems awareness). This is the framework I developed through years of coaching and wrote about in my book, Leadership Integrity: How to Stay Grounded, Build Trust, and Lead with Wholeness in Uncertain Times.

Book Notes — Reflections on books that shape how I think about leadership, coaching, and human development. Not reviews—more like conversations with ideas that have stayed with me.

Who This Is For

I write for senior executives and the leaders becoming them. People who sense that leadership is more than a role or a résumé line. People who want to lead with integrity—not as a slogan, but as a lived practice.

If you’re someone who doesn’t need another model to memorize but craves a structure that helps you think more clearly, lead more consciously, and act more cohesively—you’re in the right place.

An Invitation

I don’t write to have all the answers. I write to ask better questions. Questions like: Who am I when no one is watching? How do I want to show up when it matters most? What are we building together? What am I not seeing?

These questions guide my coaching, my framework, and now this blog. I hope they’ll become useful companions for you too.

If something here resonates, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. I share thoughtful reflections on leadership integrity—meaningful communication, not inbox clutter. And if you’d like to explore where you are across the four dimensions, the LiF Assessment offers personalized insights about your leadership patterns and development edges.

Your thoughts, challenges, and experiences are welcome here. This isn’t a broadcast—it’s a conversation. Bring what you’re wrestling with. Let’s think together.

Welcome. I’m glad you’re here.

S

Maria

I see it all over Instagram.

The intention is positive, but the outcome has the potential to be problematic.

I’m talking about the concept of “finding your why”.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe it is good to start to think about this. Our “why” is important. It helps us find meaning and prioritize. It allows us to filter the information we receive and create our perception of the world around us. Two people can look at the same picture, the same tree, the same sky and feel completely different things. This is because of the different “why” they each have in their life.

Our why can be the lens in which we view the world. It can impact what we see, our feelings and our actions.

We ask ourselves: Why am I doing this? It seems simple enough.

And, this is where I believe we really need to come back to: simplicity.

I talk to many people who overthink this task to “find their why”. They have been influenced by the people they follow on social media, they feel guilty for not having a “good enough” why, an altruistic why and some are even intimidated.

Shouldn’t my “why” be grand and big and lofty? Shouldn’t it be “because I want to change the world”?

Maybe. If that motivates you. If that drives you.

But grand, big and lofty actions don’t always need to come from such a huge WHY. In fact, often the most personal, seemingly small motivations can have the biggest impact and enable us to push us forward and meet our dreams.

Examples of Why

What are some other examples of simple, personal but meaningful whys? Here’s a few to think about:

– Because I want to enjoy my life

– Because I don’t know if I’ll like it, but I want to give it a try

– Because I am curious

Maria, you may be thinking. Some of these seem a bit… selfish. They are about me. They aren’t about me saving the world. Can your why really be something as simple as “Because I want to enjoy my life”?

Yes, yes, yes. 1,000 times yes. This is allowed. This is encouraged!

And…why? (joke intended!)

Because. When you are happy and joyful, you show up as your authentic self and are able to bring your unique gifts to the world.

How to Find Your (Simple) Why

Now that we understand that a personal and simple why can be beneficial and important, how do we each find that which is most meaningful for us?

Begin with your personal why by honestly answering some of these questions:

– What do I live for? For whom?

– Why do I live?

– Why do I really want to live?

– What drives me?

– What do I really enjoy doing?

– What do I want to try more of?

It is OK to start on a larger scale and then hone in on specific areas of your life. Your “why” will likely be different for different areas of work, projects, hobbies, relationships or other experiences. And, your “why” may change over time.

Be open to giving yourself the gift of curiosity as you explore your simple why. You’ll inspire others simply by exploring and living out loud.

After all, sometimes the reason for your “why” can be as simple as “why not?”

Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash

After my recent post, (Create Your Perfect Day), I received a response that allowed me to reflect even more on this topic. A colleague shared my strong opposition to this idea of “where you see yourself in 5-10 years” and talked about some additional pitfalls in this approach.

The truth is, when we approach our goals in terms of a specific role or title — versus how we want to spend our time — we often limit ourselves from exploring what is possible.

I know because I experienced this firsthand.

When I moved to the United States, I thought a lot about my prior experience and my career in Russia. I decided I wanted to verify all of my credentials here in America. I passed multiple tests, regained my PMP – Project Management certification, obtained Change Management certification, and started applying for jobs.

I faced a lot of rejections. This discouraged me from further attempts to look for a job in the space

where I had previously developed my expertise. I was basing my decisions on prior roles I’d had, what I was qualified “on paper” to do and what made sense as a next step for me. Little did I know that these rejections would change my life – for the better.

In the midst of this experience, I did the Perfect Day exercise. I imagined myself working with people, sharing thoughts, giving ideas

and asking questions. I shared this with a friend of mine who asked me straightaway: What about coaching?

Why am I sharing this story? Why is this important?

Because when I was focused on a specific job, a specific role, I faced a lot of rejection. I could have really savored the negative side of this situation but instead, I created a

picture and said let’s forget about that previous part of my life; I will take everything available but in some kind of new frame… let’s see where this will take me.

That was five years ago, and it was the minute I started exploring this beautiful trade of coaching. It is the work I do now, that I love, and I have never been happier. I know my purpose and I live a very fulfilling life.

We often think we know what is best for us. We put a lot of stock in a specific role and job, when – instead – we can begin, together, to create a new culture. A culture of dreaming without boundaries and without attachments to titles, companies, and roles. Ask yourself: What would I really enjoy doing? How can I add value to my life and the lives of others?

So, what now?

Here are my questions to you: Are you unhappy in your current role? Are you dissatisfied with options for mobility within your company? Are you looking around and wondering what is next for you? Are you considering what will bring you joy and purpose and fulfillment?

If so, I invite you to complete the Perfect Day exercise, and take these steps on the path to transformation with me.

All it takes is a willingness to see the possibilities. Are you with me?

Photo by @OlgaPrudka

I am an optimist.

Is this a bad thing?

Well, I hear a conversation happening in many circles right now.

Just think positively. Or… Feeling down? Engage in uplifting self-talk. Or… Everything happens for a reason. Or… Choose to be happy.

None of these sentiments, on their surface, are bad things, but I do want to caution you about being overly-optimistic.

But, have you ever even heard of being “overly-optimistic” or “too positive” or “too resilient”? Is this even a thing?

Let’s dissect this concept a bit.

What’s Happening Behind Toxic Positivity

There are many people out there who engage in a consistently positive attitude, no matter the reality. They believe complete positivity is the answer to achievement and to avoiding failure, to attracting the “right” relationships and to moving through life unhurt and without fear. They believe that since we can make a choice to be happy and just be happy, that we should.

Don’t get me wrong. I love joy! However, when positivity, optimism and resilience are solely manufactured, I believe it is time to step back and take stock.

But, Maria [you may be thinking to yourself]… if I’m not working at being optimistic all of the time, then I am bound to feel… well… a whole range of other emotions. Like…even negative emotions! I might feel sad or bad or unhappy or jealous or angry or frightened or disillusioned or concerned or melancholy or…

Yes, I get the idea. And yes, this is true.

But to live in a state of forced positivity and to white-knuckle ourselves to happiness is counter-productive to our growth, our truth and our peace.

To force positivity is to deny reality. And this creates a distance between those who try to do this and their friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances, because individuals who force this positivity will appear to be out of touch with an entire range of emotions. They often lack an understanding of how people can be upset or hurt. They can lose their compassion and their empathy.

In my practice, when I engage people experiencing negative emotions, I let them know this is okay. After all, this is what really makes us different from any kind of species: we have our emotions. I do not suggest my clients reframe negative emotions or talk themselves out of them. That would only serve to deny their experience.

Negative emotions are something we need to understand and acknowledge. To explore. And even sometimes to savor.

We can sit with not only the what of the emotion, but the why of the emotion.

Negative Emotions

We’ve traditionally viewed negative emotions as indicators that something isn’t functioning as it should. Sometimes, we may even feel ashamed for experiencing them. In practice, I’ve observed that male clients are surprisingly more willing to explore their negative emotions, whereas female leaders tend to deny them by ignoring or suppressing. The reasons for these observed differences could be the subject of another blog post. For now, I want to emphasize that negative emotions are invaluable; they prompt us to analyze and reflect.

Let me reiterate for everyone: Emotions have often been viewed as indicators or built-in reactions. However, they are not your permanent state. And here’s a fascinating twist: our nervous system doesn’t categorize emotions into ‘bad’ and ‘good.’ This insight invites us to reevaluate our emotions repeatedly.

But what if we shift our perspective, following the insights of Lisa Feldman Barrett, and see our emotions not just as indicators but as predictions? This understanding transforms our approach. Emotions then become our brain’s predictions based on past experiences, suggesting how we might react to similar situations in the future.

So, let’s take these negative emotions we experience. Instead of ignoring them, let’s understand them as predictions and use them to our advantage. Initially, let’s acknowledge them without attempting to dissect each one. Then, let’s examine these emotions under a new light: What do I predict? How can this foresight serve me? What does it teach me about my anticipated reactions? What insights do I gain about myself that were previously obscured?

To move beyond these predictions and not let them define our reactions, we can engage in activities such as breath exercises, meditation, or physical activities. These practices help us to reframe and rewire our brain’s predictive models. We’ll be optimists, but of a different kind—thoughtful and conscious.

Remember, reevaluating our emotions as predictions isn’t a quick fix. While we might outsmart our brain temporarily, our body’s wisdom isn’t easily bypassed.

This approach is a choice. A powerful choice. You decide how to interpret and use these predictive emotions. You can release them, or you can explore and play with these anticipatory feelings—mindful, though, not to let them deplete your energy.

For a deeper understanding of emotions as predictions, I highly recommend checking out Lisa Feldman Barrett’s insightful explanations on this topic.

Time to Reflect

The next time you feel a negative emotion surfacing, see what it feels like not to stuff it down, not to reframe it immediately, not to suppress it, or push it aside in the name of (toxic) positivity.

Explore what it feels like to acknowledge it. To examine it. To peel it back a bit and uncover something valuable from it. To thank it for providing some insight for you.

And then, to start planting the seeds for new, better predictions. You’re the only person who can make changes in your life.

Believing in you,

Maria

Breathe! It’s safe to breathe.

We generally take our breath for granted. Breathing is automatic. You don’t need to remember to breathe when you go about your day or when you sleep. The respiratory center at the base of our brain controls our breathing subconsciously.

That said, you can take control of your breathing if you want. For example, you can hold your breath staying under water or train it for speeches or singing. 

But, have you ever noticed how often you hold your breath subconsciously?

In his Psychology Today article, “Waiting to Exhale,” Alan Fogel, PhD. provides us with some insight. “Usually, breath holding occurs under stress or threat. It can also occur when we are anticipating something or wanting something to happen: this is the origin of the phrase, “Don’t hold your breath!” when expected things may not come true.”

When given the choice, most of us would say that we yearn to stay in a state of “relaxed breathing,” however, we likely don’t even not even realize when we switch over to what is called “effortful breathing.” Fogel goes on: “effortful breathing…[is] not healthy because the muscular effort, coupled with the effects of stress on the nervous, hormonal, and immune systems, can impair both physical and psychological function.”

Not all breathing is created equal.

In addition to effortful breathing, I’m going to share another type of breathing with you. Have you ever heard of the term “screen apnea”? Screen apnea is a breath hold or engaging in shallow breathing while you’re looking at the screen. Looking at a screen…this something many of us do for hours a day without even thinking about it!

As shared in this Business Insider article, studies have shown that we can go into a state of “shallow breathing, breath-holding and hyperventilating” when we are in front of our screens. This action triggers “the sympathetic nervous system toward a fight-or-flight state” and our bodies are physically getting ready to take serious action. “Our bodies are tuned to be impulsive and compulsive… we also become tuned to over-consume.”

Said another way: Have you ever been scrolling through Instagram only to look down and notice an entire box of cookies is gone. Who came in and stole these without my realizing it? you may ask yourself, as you wipe the crumbs from your shirt. This is all a result of screen apnea. “In this state… we reach for every available resource, from food to information, as if it’s our last opportunity— pulling out our smartphones again and again to check for e-mail, texts and messages.”

How can we approach breathing with intention? The answer is simple: breathwork.

We now know a bit about what kind of breathing we want to stay away from, but is there a way to remedy this?

The answer is yes. We can move away from effortful breathing and into intentional or controlled breathing. This is breathing that actually helps and supports our bodies and our minds.

As the reading on screen apnea notes, “Deep and regular breathing, also referred to as diaphragmatic breathing, helps to quiet the sympathetic nervous system.” The next time you pick up your phone to check email or send a text, see if you can get in tune with your body. Notice how you feel physically. Approach your breath with intention. But, this isn’t just about being mindful of our time on our screens. This is about intentional breathing in all situations.

While various breathing practices have been known for centuries, studies are merely beginning to reveal the benefits of controlled breath, also known as breathwork. It has been found that breathing practices can help reduce stress, burnout, anxiety, hormonal imbalances, sleep issues, depression, and other disorders. It can improve circulation and blood pressure and even increase anti-inflammatory activity.

Who can benefit from breathwork?

You may think that breathwork is for individuals who are intensely struggling or suffering. You are right; breathwork is very supportive for stress, tension, overwhelm, fear, anxiety, burnout, and more. But breathwork is also beneficial for people who are stepping up to the next level in self-compassion, gratitude, clarity, consciousness, and connection.

I was personally introduced to breathwork one year ago and fell in love immediately. Breathwork became a life-changing experience for me. Now, I run free-of-charge breath clubs in two languages – English and Russian – offering one-on-one sessions, sessions for small groups, and intensive programs. As a result, we’re building strong conscious and connected communities of people who are transforming themselves and their lives.

Curious to try?

Join me at my Breath Club “Conscious and Connected” each month for breath sessions. These sessions are free and open for all whether this is your 1st or 50th breathwork session. We start with a meditation and continue with a conscious, connected breath technique.

New to breathwork? Don’t be intimidated with the novelty of this experience. I will stay with you at every step of your practice.

When you need additional support, close your eyes and imagine yourself in the center of the circle with us holding each other’s hands and sending you our love and support.

Do you feel stronger now?

P.S. I’m adding this update on July 27th, 2022. I’m not facilitating breath sessions now, but I breathe each Sunday with Alchemy of Breath – they offer free sessions to anyone who is interested. Check their sessions here.