“Humility is the most important quality in a leader. Being humble doesn’t mean to be passive. This is a difficult dichotomy to balance. But as with all the dichotomies–being strong, but not overbearing, for example–just the awareness of these two opposing forces becomes one of the most powerful tools at a leader’s disposal. Leaders must be humble enough to listen to new ideas, willing to learn strategic insights, and open to implementing new and better tactics and strategies. But a leader must also be ready to stand firm when there are clearly unintended consequences that negatively impact the mission and risk harm to the team.” – The Dichotomy of Leadership, J. Willink and L. Babin.
Senior leaders talk about humility often. They want to be approachable, open‑minded, and willing to learn. At the same time, they need to project confidence, make high‑stakes decisions, and hold firm when it matters. The tension between humble leadership and strong executive presence can feel confusing: if you admit you don’t know, will people still trust you? If you stay open to others’ views, will you be seen as indecisive?
In the Leadership Integrity Framework, humility lives at the intersection of Purpose, Presence, and Partnership—knowing your limits, showing up with grounded confidence, and relating to others with genuine curiosity.
Humility Is Not Low Self‑Esteem
Part of the confusion comes from how we use the word “humility.” Leaders sometimes mix it up with self‑doubt, passivity, or playing small.
A useful way to differentiate:
- Humility: Willingness to seek advice, listen to other points of view, and be open to changing your approach. You acknowledge both strengths and limits.
- Low self‑esteem: Persistent lack of confidence in who you are and what you can do. You mostly see your flaws and rarely claim your strengths.
Humble leaders recognize they are imperfect and still capable. Leaders with low self‑esteem see their imperfections as proof they do not belong. That difference matters for executive presence. Humility strengthens credibility; chronic self‑doubt erodes it.
What Humility Looks Like in Practice
True humility is not weakness. It requires enough inner stability that you don’t need constant validation to feel legitimate.
In practice, humble leadership can look like:
- Admitting when you were wrong—and correcting course without dramatizing it
- Saying, “I don’t know yet, let me look into that,” instead of pretending to have all the answers
- Acknowledging that someone else has the better idea, and championing it visibly
- Staying open to feedback, even when it is uncomfortable or challenges your assumptions
These behaviors draw directly on intellectual humility. As Adam Grant describes, intellectual humility is the capacity to stay curious instead of defensive, to search for what is true rather than what makes you feel right. For senior leaders, this is not a nice‑to‑have; it is a core competence in complex environments.
From a Leadership Integrity perspective:
- Purpose keeps you rooted in your values, so you can admit mistakes without losing your center.
- Presence allows you to communicate “I don’t know” in a way that still feels steady and responsible.
- Partnership turns humility into a relationship strength—others feel respected, heard, and invited into problem‑solving.
Do You Lose Confidence When You Admit You Don’t Know?
Many executives quietly fear that if they show uncertainty, their confidence will be questioned. They imagine that saying “I’m not sure yet” will undermine their authority or credibility with the board, their team, or key stakeholders.
What people actually read as weak is not uncertainty; it is avoidance.
- Dodging hard questions.
- Offering vague answers to protect your image.
- Defending an outdated position because changing your mind feels like failure.
By contrast, saying “Here’s what we know, here’s what we don’t yet know, and here’s how we’ll find out” often increases trust. It demonstrates clarity, integrity, and a commitment to the work over ego. In other words, the combination of intellectual humility and clear next steps strengthens executive presence rather than diluting it.
The Goal: Confident and Open‑Minded
If you’ve just explored confidence, it can sound like humility asks you to swing to the opposite pole—to defer, stay quiet, and let others lead the way. That is not the invitation.
The real work is balance:
- Presenting confidently and staying open to being wrong.
- Taking a clear stand and being curious about perspectives you have not yet considered.
- Owning your expertise and recognizing it is incomplete without others’ insight.
This is a vertical move: from “either I’m confident or I’m humble” to “I can be both confident and humble in the same conversation.” It is also where Purpose, Presence, and Partnership reinforce each other instead of pulling you in different directions.
When leaders embody this balance, they quietly dismantle the myths that “confidence equals competence” and “humility equals ignorance.” They show that the most trustworthy leaders are often the ones willing to keep an open mind while still taking responsibility for the call.
If you see yourself in this tension, notice your next meeting where you could practice both: state your view clearly, then ask one genuinely curious question that might change your mind.
*If you enjoyed this post, you may like my latest post on confidence.
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
